Tuesday, March 20, 2012

March 17, 18, & 19: Crazy Stuff

Glamor Girl

Glamor Girl by bunni711 featuring platform pumps

Contrition (kun-TRISH-en) n. - The state of feeling remorseful and penitent [Google Dictionary]; The state of feeling or showing sorrow and remorse for a sin or shortcoming [m-w.com]

March 17: Today we went to my nephew's 14th birthday party.  He makes me feel so old.  First, we headed over to my house after lunch (pizza lunchables).  I had trouble finding something nice to wear, so we were a bit late.  My mom had wanted to leave early, though, so we weren't late for the party - just late for being early.  When we got to my house, my mom was watching The Ghost Whisperer and wanted to see the end, so we would've been sitting around for a while if we'd been on time.

It was a really nice day out.  When we got to my sister's house, we sat outside on the front porch and talked.  The puppies were all out there (they have a gate up so they don't escape) and we let Teddy roam about with them.  He tried to squeeze through the slats in the gate, though, so we had to put him back on the leash.  After awhile, we went inside and sat around being bored for a bit.  James and I decided to play Kings in the Corner while we waited for the party to start.  There were muddy buddies (which are the best!) and an ice cream cake from DQ.  I painted my nails again since they were chipping while my mom visited with my sister.  James was pretty bored and went out to see Teddy, who was on the line in the back yard, barking with Polka Dot at the neighbor dogs.

After we got back from the party, James and I watched tv and everybody was pretty tired.  We had some swiss steak, rice, and corn on the cob for dinner.  The corn was really, really good.  I didn't bring my book or computer along, so we were a bit bored.  We ate pretty late, too.  I wasn't able to get much work done today.  Hopefully I'll be able to get everything done tomorrow.

March 18: Today started out alright, but ended up pretty badly.  I got some work done on my JavaScript, but I'm having a lot of trouble with it.  I can't get anything to work.  I haven't had a lot of time to work on it, either, what with that huge paper I had to do.  At 2pm, the Game of Thrones marathon started, which James was really excited about watching.  The first episode seemed kind of boring, probably because I didn't know the characters yet, but after that, it was really interesting.  I liked the show.  The marathon was on until midnight - all 10 episodes of the first season.

Besides that, I had a crummy day.  James and I had a disagreement that I blew out of proportion, and got pretty upset over.  I said some things I regret.  We made up, though, and apologized.  It's difficult to have fights, but it's a normal part of any relationship.  This one could have been avoided if I had just been more reasonable.  I think I was just not in a great place personally and it all got out of hand.  After the show was over, we talked it out and cuddled.  I feel scared that he will still be upset with me and the way I acted.  I have to trust him, though.  We both love each other very much, and one fight will not change that.

I had trouble with my homework earlier because I was upset and having a lot of trouble with the JavaScript.  I think that was another reason why this happened - I was stressed about my code not working.  I turned in the yacht club assignment, but e-mailed the prof to let her know I needed more help with the JavaScript and it would be late.  I hope she will be able to help me because that code is a mess.  I feel like I might be close, but am missing something important.

March 19: I woke up still unsure about what happened yesterday.  I still felt terrible about what happened and what was said.  I feel a huge amount of contrition about my own words and actions.  Still, I can't let that put a shadow over the rest of the day.

We had toasted subs for lunch and I read my book while James surfed the net.  I'm about 200 pages to the end now; it has been a long ride!  My professor e-mailed me again about the video from my last project on the yacht club site.  I haven't been able to send it to her through e-mail since the file is so large.  She said I might be able to show her the video through the chat feature on our class website, so we're going to set up a time for that.  She also e-mailed me about the JavaScript homework, asking me to send her my code (I have the same prof for those two classes).

Later, I sat with him and read some more while he played video games.  He played Mass Effect 3, which looks pretty cool.  It made me think about how much work must go into these games.  These high-end, popular games are like A-list movies, and they must be expensive.  I'm sure a lot of really talented people work on these big games, too.  It's kind of interesting to think of them as the "big leagues" of the gaming world.  I still think they could use some work on their characters' facial features when they talk.  It still looks pretty awkward.  Sometimes their heads bob around strangely while they talk.  There was one scene that James was playing today where Shepard was talking to someone but looking in the completely opposite direction the whole time.  Turns out he was looking at this floaty ball thing in the air.  Other than that, the game looks really cool and looks like a lot of fun.  I'm not sure if I would enjoy playing something like that, but I do like watching James play - besides he's good at them and I'm not so much so.

Later on, I took a short nap while James was on the computer, and then we headed over to my house.  Things were going a lot better later on.  We talked some more and reassured each other.  We stopped for some blizzards at DQ before we got to my house.  Jamie got an Oreo and I got a Snickers.  They made mine with vanilla instead of chocolate ice cream, though.  It was kind of annoying, but they were busy, so we didn't say anything.  It was still really good.  I was a little grumpy about it, but I decided not to let it bother me (because it was silly!), and we had a good time talking and enjoying our ice cream.  We also saw a little wiener dog walking down the street.  I thought we should talk about dachshunds some time in public, but only refer to them as "wieners" or "weenies."  It would be pretty funny, you have to admit.

When we got back to my house, James and I cuddled and watched some TV.  We had chili dogs for dinner (one of Jamie's favorites) and some wedge fries, both of which were really yummy.  Later, we played Scrabble and cheated a bunch.  We don't keep score and sometimes we trade tiles, but it's fun.  I miss him a bunch now, but I also think it's good for us to have some time alone right now.  I feel like we are in a really good place now.  It makes me really happy to see that we can keep bouncing back and that James will keep on loving me even when I am not very lovable.  That's all I really want.


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