Friday, March 16, 2012

March 14, 15, & 16: A Return to Normality

Disney Princesses: Jasmine

Disney Princesses: Jasmine by bunni711 featuring gem jewelry

Instauration (in-staw-RAY-shuhn) n. - restoration after decay, lapse, or dilapidation []; the action of restoring or renewing something [Google Dictionary]

March 14: From the time I woke up today, I was on my class site waiting to see if the prof would reply to my questions.  I really wanted to get the paper in ASAP, but she didn't post before noon, as she usually does.  Basically she says that if you don't post by noon, she won't reply, and I don't see her posts going after noon, so I checked the paper one last time before turning it in.  I realized, however, that I had forgotten to write an introduction to one of my sections, so I wrote a new paragraph and made sure everything else was in order and my table of contents wasn't thrown off by the addition.

After I turned my paper in (and checked it a dozen times to make sure it worked and it was the right file), I helped my mom hang some pictures - well, my dad did the picture hanging, I advised on the placement.  I was so relieved to have the paper in, but I still felt a little edgy since I hadn't gotten a reply from the prof.  I checked again later and found that she did in fact leave a reply, after I had already turned it in.  She doesn't usually post at 2:30, but she did this time.  Her comments were minor, though, so hopefully it won't factor into my grade.  I wrote her back that one of the issues was something Word had been giving me trouble with (naming the Appendices A,B,C instead of the I,II,III that I ended up using).  I'm not sure when our grades will be in, but hopefully it turns out well.  I really did work very hard on the paper and I'm proud of how it turned out.

I spent the rest of the day relaxing; I have been under so much stress lately that I really needed the break.  It's different than just taking some time out while you're working because now the weight of the project and the deadline are off my shoulders.  There really isn't anything more I can do at this point except wait to hear my grade.  I watched the season finale of The Bachelor and the After the Final Rose special.  I think those two might actually work out.  It's hard to tell,  of course.  I was excited to see Ashley and J.P. on there, though.  They are so cute.  I made it a point not to look them up after their season because I knew the media and all the fans would be sniffing out any information possible and I just didn't want to add to it.  I feel so bad for Courtney because she got back 10x what she gave out.  I just don't understand people's hatred - it is cold and resolute.  It scares me.  People cannot forgive, sometimes.  It's not as if any of them were personally wronged, either.  How can you hate someone you don't know?  Ben and Courtney seem like they have staying power.  It seems like they consider themselves in the same boat - it's really them against the world at this point.  Whether or not it's real, who knows, but how can you explain the ones that stay together?  I think the lines between reality and television are too blurred to really make a distinction in these cases.  It's good to know that some people really do find happiness.  It's sad that so many people have to get hurt in the process.  They'll always have Bachelor Pad, though.  (*snickers)

After I watched those two shows (and it took me a good 2 1/2 hours), I decided to watch an episode of Genuine Ken, which was terrible.  I won't be watching that again.  My mom brought home food from work again: ham salad sandwiches, sweet potato biscuits, sugar cookies, and some really amazing cake.  It was yellow cake w/ green jello injected in it, covered in chocolate fudge and mint-flavored whipped cream.  It was sooo good.  I am starting to think these old people eat pretty darn well.  (She works at a nursing home, btw, don't know if I ever mentioned that.)

I forgot to watch Face Off tonight and it was the season finale.  : (

March 15: Today, I decided to dress up.  I put on makeup and even wore a dress!  I wanted to feel pretty today and I wanted to look nice for when Jamie came over.  I just enjoy doing this sometimes.  Most of the time when we're together, I'm lazing around in comfy clothes.  (It's almost an instauration from my normal look.)  I wore my blue ruffle-y dress from graduation with mint green metallic pointy heels, plus some blue shell earrings and the necklace Angel got me for my birthday from Lia Sophia (a story for another time, I suppose!)  I sat and did some dramatic eye makeup in peacock colors (which, although bright, was quite pretty).  I have a thing for dramatic eye makeup.  I love colorful eye makeup, too.

After Jamie came over, I found it wise to change before heading to the library.  (My dress was a little low and I didn't have a tank top to wear underneath.)  Instead, i put on a long purple shirt and short shorts and we walked over to the library.  I felt good in both outfits - it's something I've needed lately.  It's too easy to get down on myself, especially when I wear nothing but large t-shirts and Jamie's old soccer shorts.  (Yes, I really do wear that ALL the time.)  I had to take The Hunger Games back because someone had a hold on it.  I didn't get to read it, but at least my dad did - it wasn't a total waste.  I'll have to get it out again sometime.  And Catch-22.  1Q84 is taking a while (it is, after all, over 900 pages long).  I just finished book 2 this morning, so I've got about a third left to go.  Goodreads tells me I'm 3 books behind now.  : (

When we were walking back from the library and getting drinks at Circle K, I was hollered at by some guys in a truck.  This has not happened in a very long time.  It's a weird paradox because I like the attention and recognition of my attractiveness (not that I don't get it enough from James, of course), but it's also demeaning to women when men go about hollering at us for being attractive.  It's not something I'm going to attempt to explain.

After we got back, I was super tired.  I laid down for a nap and slept for about 1/2 hour while James was on his laptop.  Later on, we played a few games of Uno, which was fun.  I won 2/3 of them.  : )  We got to watch our shows tonight, too.  I don't always get to see them when they air because my dad is very adamant about watching his political shows at 8 & 9.

When we got back to Jamie's house, we watched Love and Other Drugs, which turned out to be really good.  The only part that wasn't right was the dramatic end where they declare their love and devotion to each other after a daring race by Jake Gylenhaal to catch up with Anne Hathaway's bus to Canada.  There was slow zooming and cliched dialogue.  It was pretty bad.  Other than that, it was a romantic movie with surprising depth.  It was different, edgy, witty.  I really liked it other than that one terrible part.

March 16: Today has been a good day.  It's been warm out for the past few days.  It's such a nice change from the cold.  It's been raining a bunch, though.  Last night there was a leak in the hall at Jamie's house and a lot of people's yards are flooded.  I told James we should look for houses after a big rain so we know if the yard and the basement flood.

James and I made chocolate chip pancakes for lunch.  They were really good.  We have a good system: I make the batter, measure it out, and pour it into the pan; James spreads the butter in the pan, cooks the pancakes, and flips them.  I'm terrible at flipping pancakes.  Really, really terrible.  But we make a good team.  : )

While we ate, we watched Cowboys & Aliens, which we got from the library yesterday (along with J. Edgar and Hugo, both of which we were pretty surprised to find at our dinky library).  The movie was alright.  It was kind of slow for an action film.  Later, James played video games while I surfed the net and I ended up getting sleepy and taking a nap.  His room is warmer and darker than the tv room, so I usually end up getting tired sitting in here too long.  I felt really weird when I woke up and I had some pretty weird dreams.  One involved a mash-up between America's Next Top Model and The Sims.  The models had to perform a dance on stage while stopping periodically to paint a picture.  Very strange.

After I woke up, we went out to the tv room and I worked on JavaScript.  I'm not sure yet if my code works.  I have a bit more to code and I think I may have messed some parts up.  That's due Sunday, along with another page for the yacht club website.  It has to have audio and a 3-d graphic.  I'm going to try to make a boat and find some nautical music.  Before that, I was on PCWorld's website, reading some articles.  I read about how Google might be headed for trouble since it's trying so hard to be like facebook.

I also read about Oprah's book picks for March.  (I'm in a book club on goodreads based on Oprah's Book Club.  They had a poll for which books to read this month.)  I'm surprised to find that I like a lot of her book club books.  I read about a bunch of them and added them on goodreads.

Later on, I read a bunch and crocheted some.  It's been a peaceful day.  It's just nice to relax and spend time with my honey.  Plus, the weather is so nice and next week is spring break.  I'm looking forward to just hanging out with James tomorrow and not being weighed down with all that anxiety from that big paper.  James and I have so much fun together.  I love that man.  : )


Tuesday, March 13, 2012

March 11, 12, & 13: Nerd Girl

Nerd Girl

Rankle (RANG-kul) v. - fester, be irritating [Webster's]; (of a comment, event, or fact) cause annoyance or resentment that persists [Google Dictionary]

March 11: I worked on my paper; it's coming together.  I had a bit of a meltdown earlier because I'm just so anxious about it and I wasn't sure whether or not it would be a good idea to drop the class.  It's more difficult to work when I'm not even sure if I'll be taking the class anymore.  I talked to James about it a bunch (and cried a bunch), but he doesn't know what I should do, either.  I think we just feel too differently about this sort of thing.  I have always made a really big deal about school assignments, but he is more laid back about them.  I wish I could be more like him in that respect.  It would get rid of so much stress and anxiety!

I ended up calling my mom after she got home from work.  She has stayed up with me countless times when I was stressed out and writing a paper.  Her advice really helped me.  I decided to finish the class - I know I can do it and I'm getting used to the idea that my grades don't mean everything (in other words, I can deal with an A- or a B!)  I sound so nuts, but it really is a problem for me.  I guess I just have a really deep-seated issue with academic success.  I have discovered slowly in recent years that this is my own problem and no one else's.  I always thought that other people expected a lot out of me, but it's actually me who demands perfection.  It's something I just have to deal with and learn to overcome.

March 12: Today we headed back over to my house.  Before we left, I worked on my paper more.  I'm also trying to relax in between working on it so that I don't go nuts.  I read a bunch earlier, too.  I feel better today than I did yesterday - less foggy.  I have been sleeping too late the past couple of days, and it always affects the clarity of my thinking.  I need to keep my brain nice and clear so I can pound this paper out.

We went over to my house around 5:30 so we could watch Teddy while my dad went to a meeting.  James and I hung out and watched TV mostly, and I worried about my paper.  After a while, I ended up taking my laptop into my room to work since pretty much any noise was getting to me (I'm weird like that - you don't know the half of it).  I worked a bunch on my paper and got a lot of good work done.  It was easier to work today because I felt clearer and I had a quiet place to work by myself.  I'm glad to be at home the last few days before this proposal is due so I can shut myself up in my room and get the work finished.

I added a lot of stuff to my paper today, including a bunch of graphs and tables.  Graphics are 9% of our grade (for the whole class, actually), so I'm trying to get as many as I can.  I read another students' draft and he had graphics galore - charts, tables, diagrams, even a floor plan.  It was crazy.  (That's the same paper that inspired fear in me the other day.)  I'm feeling so much better about the paper.  I've gotten large chunks of writing done and the organization is looking pretty good.  I posted another draft tonight with more questions.  Hopefully I can get answers to all of them (or at least the most important ones).  I just hope that she doesn't leave a bunch of mistakes to be found during grading.  I hate that.

I actually feel proud of my proposal.  I still feel cautious about it, though, because I just don't know what she will think or how she will grade it.  I just have to be hopeful and do my best.

March 13: My paper is due tomorrow, but I got a lot more good work done today.  At this point, I think it's finished.  I had another episode earlier because it seemed like there was always something new coming to my attention that needed added or changed.  I can't seem to keep up with everything she wants in this paper!  This silly thing has really been rankling me for the past week.  I'm going to be so relieved when it's safely submitted tomorrow!

 I commented on another students' draft and hopefully can get to someone else's tomorrow.  I was glad to have someone else help me, so I wanted to return the favor. Sometimes it is just so frustrating when you post several days in advance or you have important questions and almost no one helps you out.

This morning I went out to Middlefield with my mom and Teddy.  We had to pick up some things and go to Wal-mart (there isn't one around where we live).  We got some more Nutella (Mmmmm), some strawberries, oriental noodles (my favorite!), and a snack because we were hungry - glazed donuts!  They were soooo good (and soo bad for me!)  Teddy was naughty, though, and barked a bunch at people and horses and such.  When we got back I made some noodles and worked on my paper.

Later on I talked to James on the phone, then Amber online.  I ended up taking a nap because I just felt exhausted.  It's probably because I stayed up until 3am last night finishing up my draft for the proposal so I could post it on the discussion board.  The prof only responds to posts put up before noon, and I wasn't going to be posting in the morning.

I didn't feel much better after my nap, but started to feel better after I watched my Tuesday shows.  I keep thinking it's a day later than it is.  It freaks me out a bit since my paper is due tomorrow (Wednesday).  Ugh.  My shows were both good and I hung out with my mom some.  We looked through my new copy of Elle Decor together during the commercials.  That magazine has some funky stuff in it.  Between shows I worked on my paper a little more.  We had chicken noodle casserole (my favorite!) for dinner.  It was soo good.  I hope there's some leftover for lunch tomorrow.  <3

After dinner, I worked on my paper a bunch more.  I made another table, added a chart from another source, worked on fixing up my organization (it got a bit wonky after I added the Table of Contents), and messed around with the page numbering.  Apparently we need different numbering for the appendices, so I had fun trying to get Word to cooperate with me on that.  My poor mommy stayed in here with me and listened to me struggle with page numbers and the wording for my conclusion.  I love my mom.

Anyway, I'm happy with the way it turned out.  It's 17 pages long.  (I know!)  Hopefully the prof won't have anything to say about it and I'll turn it in ASAP tomorrow.  I'm a little nervous about turning it in late after the debacle that happened last time.  Ugh.  I've reminded several people repeatedly to remind me to turn it in before 10pm.  Yes, I'm a little neurotic.  Doesn't matter as long as that beast isn't late!

The only problem I foresee right now is the Table of Contents.  I just kind of smacked it on the first page of the memo and I'm not sure that's right.  Hopefully she doesn't recommend creating a cover page.  I'm not sure I can handle any more work on this thing!

After I submitted the draft on the discussion board and left my fate to, well, the Fates, I made the outfit above.  Well, finished it, anyway.  I started it a while ago, but I haven't been posting anything for the past week or so.  I've been too busy and too anxious.  Hopefully there won't be any more of that (at least for a while) after tomorrow!  Oh, and Spring Break is next week!  I am so excited for the rest.  (That's kind of an ironic sentence...)  Good night!