Thursday, June 16, 2011

A Change of Heart

I think I need to go in a new direction with this blog.  Since I started, I've pretty much written about political and social issues, but to be honest, I'm not super interested in writing about that stuff all the time anymore.  I'm not getting the paper while I'm at home (and probably won't next year, since I'm going to a branch campus) and I'm not watching political shows, either.

I think what I need to do is get back to the heart of this blog - why I started it in the first place.  The blog is supposed to be all about how writing things out is the best kind of therapy.  So maybe it's time to make this blog more personal and write about my actual life!

I guess I could start somewhere a bit obvious.  If you've read this blog before, you may have noticed that it originally stated on the homepage that I was an aspiring therapist.  That is now gone because I've changed directions and am going back to school next year to get a degree in computer technology!  I know, it's a big change.  I had been so sure about wanting to be a therapist for a really long time, but I had a change of heart this past year.  The thing is, I'm really not that great with talking to people.  It seems like an odd career choice for someone who has felt socially awkward her whole life, right?  Well, the thing is that when I got into the one-on-one counselling situation, everything changed for me.  I just relaxed, got down to business, listened, and let those wheels in my brain spin.  

I have to admit, counseling was very fun for me when I was at Johnson.  Once I got to Kent, however, it was like reality striking.  I was ready to go to grad school for 5-7 years to get a fancy doctorate for a while.  Then I realized that was a huge waste and was going to get my master's in counseling.  The problem is, counselors don't make much!  However, I am willing to do what I love for less money.  I think the most important thing is that you love what you do.  The thing is, I lost my enthusiasm for psychology and counseling!  Somewhere along the way, reality struck me hard and I realized this job was going to be taxing, emotionally draining, stressful, rarely fruitful, and I decided it wasn't worth it.  I can't imagine going in every day to try to help broken people and not feeling broken myself!

So, I was searching for other options and came across this computer program at Kent Ashtabula.  The concentration is Internet and Multimedia and I'm hoping now to become a web developer/ web designer.  It's a way different field than psychology, I know.  I'm a little scared that I won't fit into the field, besides already knowing the psych field so well!  But the thing is, I have always been interested in creating web pages.  When I was younger, I spent hours and hours planning and working on web pages.  And, as you can see, I'm obviously still into it, since I have two blogs!

I think this job will fit me better.  I think it's going to be a good mix of problem-solving, technical work, and creativity.  I love that I'm going to be able to (hopefully!) be creative in my job every day.  In my spare time, I'm always painting, drawing, writing, crocheting, and just expressing my creativity.  And I love love love solving puzzles!  I've recently found a great site with a bunch of matrix puzzles:  Plus, I love doing cross-words, hidden object games, sudoku, word puzzles, and more.  As far as the technical side, I've had a web design course before, and I kind of like the coding.  The other elements are more fun, of course, but I wouldn't mind doing that every day.  Another plus for this job is that I can possibly work from home in the future.  We'll have to see if that would be a good or bad thing!

Well, I think this post is already pretty long.  I'm going to try to write on here more often and write about my life more.  I'm thinking most of my life is a little boring to blog about, but I'll try to find interesting things to talk about!  Hopefully I still have some readers or maybe people who stumble on this site will find it interesting.  I'm thinking a mix of personal posts and issues posts will work out best.  Oh!  I almost forgot.  I'm writing this post on my new laptop and it is fantastic!!  Yeah, I'm pretty sure I made a great decision!  Love love love it!!

Thanks for reading!

Christen <3

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