Monday, April 19, 2010

Demon Stairs and CTA

When you ask most people what they're afraid of, they usually say snakes or spiders.  I'm not really afraid of either, but I will jump and scream like a little girl and shout for James to kill it (if it's a spider) or run away (if it's a snake).  But what am I really afraid of?  The two biggest things are probably these:  escalators and talking on the phone (which I like to call Crippling Telecommunications Aversion or CTA).  Alright, both probably need some explanation, so here goes!

Escalators.  They are my sworn enemy.  I hate them.  I even hate the sight of them.  Why?  Simple.  If you are a small child innocently riding an escalator when your tiny girly shoe gets STUCK in the escalator, you will probably hate them forever.  And that is exactly what happened to me.  And now, whenever I am faced with an escalator, I will often stand at the bottom staring at the stairs as they zip up and away (cuz those things are FAST) for upwards of 10 minutes.  No joke.  Ask anyone who's been to the mall with me.  I will even go out of my way to ask an associate if there is an elevator in the back that I can take, even though I am also quite socially introverted.  And yes, it is very embarrassing.  Especially when other people want to get on the escalator and thus have to walk around you as you stare, frightened, at the scary escalator.  And I've gotten weird looks for admitting my fear of these demon stairs.  Whatever, they didn't get a shoe stuck in one!  Oh and I almost forgot, also when I was very young, I saw this horrifying movie of a girl who got a necklace stuck in an escalator and DIED.  I was traumatized by these things from an early age.

Speaking on the phone is also up there with my biggest fears.  When I have to call someone I don't know, especially someone older than myself (it was worse when I was younger, just calling adults).  Pretty much I get really nervous and start feeling sick to my stomach.  I sometimes feel really upset.  I often stare at the phone for several minutes before picking it up.  Then I dial and instantly hang up.  I might do this a couple of times before finally make the call.  Usually it ends up being a lot better than I was afraid of.  But I still get super nervous every time.  

Actually, I usually hate talking to people I don't know, in general.  Especially teachers or school administrators or something.  I think I might just be afraid of getting yelled at by them.  But I didn't really get in trouble in grade school.  I was always one of those "good" kids who loved being the teacher's pet.  So when I did get into trouble I was like literally distraught.  One time my little sister and I walked in front of the bus (nothing happened) and we got yelled at at school.  One time my teacher found a lump of clay from art class in my desk and called me a thief (along with my friend) even though I didn't think it was wrong at the time, and I was SUPER upset about it.  A few other times I just got in trouble randomly for talking or making noises and it sucked a lot.  The only time I was ever sent into the hall, I didn't even know when I was supposed to go back in because it had never happened before.  So I got yelled at again for coming in without being fetched (lol).  I hated getting into trouble.  But who knows how I got my CTA!  Maybe I just got it from my mom.  Lots of people are afraid of the phone.

Yeah, those are pretty much my big fears.  I could possibly add people lying to me and people leaving me.  And those are tied to past relationships with friends who were jerks.  And my sometimes general distrust for people (although I do always try to see the best in people and not generalize) comes from being made fun of as a kid.  But generally, I think I have some people-related problems.  It's hard for me to make friends sometimes and to keep up with them.  Part of that also has to do with the fact that I often live in my own head a little too much.  But I digress!  

For those of you who are reading this, I want to hear about your fears and why you think you have them.  Comment below!!


takitusmaximus said...

i think one of the best things about having fears is facing them and realizing they aren't all that daunting of a task. im not trying to rush you into it, but one day, you really should, cause you'll be quite satisfied once you finish it.

im not a big fan of bats for some reason. im not entirely sure why but they've somewhere gotten into my house on 3 separate occasions and they freak me out. maybe it's because they look really ugly, lol.

Christen said...

But I've been on them before and you know this from personal experience. It doesn't help. It probably makes it worse because then I feel how scary it is to get on it and to ride it. So riding escalators is not going to help me and might actually make it worse.