Columns Galore

So, I'm finally getting around to posting my columns from the paper last semester.  These are in no particular order, except I did put the government and media columns in order since they go together.  Also, these do not seem to be all of my column articles, so I will have to post the rest whenever I can get them from my computer, which will probably not be this summer due to internet snafus at home.  Anywho, here are the links:

6 Reasons Not to Finish That Pesky Math Homework - websites to waste your time on


Let's Keep it Civilized - disagreeing on religion


Cheap and Easy: Halloween Edition - costume ideas you can make yourself


Gender Identity: Normal or Disorder 


Make Time for Things You Love 


Can the Government Force You to be Healthy? - graphic images on cigarette packaging

We Need a Media Invasion - solutions to the growing problem of youth smoking (goes w/ above)

How to Love the Way You Look - loving your body the way it is


Changing Gender Stereotypes - male gender stereotypes


End of a Love Affair - how I fell out of love with politics


You Have the Right to Remain... Totally Confused - religious stereotyping

In other news, I'm starting a new blog about design, which will perhaps include clothing, shoes, and the like.  I'll post the link when I've decided on a name!

It's a Man's World... (Not)

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Oh, so much to talk about, but where to start?  We finally painted at our apartment yesterday, and the color looks great.  We recently lost our kitty - I had planned to write about it, but felt it was somehow inappropriate to post on here.  I'm still writing, but I haven't been making a lot of progress lately.  I did add a new beginning.  I've read several books since my last post (some very good ones, too) such as The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd, which I would recommend to anyone and everyone.  


I also recently watched the controversial movie "Milk" which I thought was excellent.  It stirred up a lot inside me, too.  I suppose I'm one of those people who is only happy when they have a cause.  I just don't like seeing people hated on or oppressed.  All about the equality.  


I was concerned with the lack of women in the movie, however.  I feel like when we talk about gay rights, we just forget about women.  One theory might be that lesbians are better accepted in our society, or another might be that there are less of them, or maybe men loving other men strikes people as much more of a problem.  Maybe our society is just too male-centered.  And I do believe that's true.  It makes me angry.  I will now commence my rant.


The problem here is that no matter how far our society or our culture has come, women are still not equal to men.  Tons of people would scoff at that comment.  Tons of people would also call me names for saying I'm a feminist.  I don't care; bring it on!  Women are paid 15% less than men, STILL!  How is that even excusable in this day and age?  It's ludicrous!  I know women are part of the problem.  Don't mistake me for a woman who hates all men, though sometimes it seems easier to just blame all the problems on them.  I don't.  Women are underachievers, as a sex.  I know tons of hardworking women who have big dreams.  But how many women do you know that settle for lesser jobs?  Why a nurse and not a doctor?  Why a kindergarten teacher and not a professor?  Why a social worker and not a psychologist?  Why not a firefighter, police officer, astronaut, scientist?  So many women choose to sidestep these jobs for ones of lesser prestige.  Is it because we're drawn to children in fields like teacher or pediatrician (as opposed to brain surgeon)?  Do we put off these greater careers in order to get married and start families?


I for one will not put my dreams on the back burner.  I may have been born a woman, but that does not mean  I will settle for less than I am capable of.  That is what makes me so angry.  I know so many women who are capable of so much, but they still settle for less.  


I had a lot of interesting ideas about why so many people are prejudiced against gay men.  And why men are so obsessed with things like war and sports.  It may be that men are being held back in this society even more than women.  Our society casts men as strong providers, unemotional, logical and problem-solvers.  They get things done, and they are manly doing it.  Men don't cry.  They don't feel weakness.  They are tough and they protect their women (please! I say, dripping with sarcasm).  Well, it's not as if men are born without feelings or fears.  They aren't perfect.  They make mistakes, they have needs.  But society doesn't want them to get too close to each other.  If a man has a close friend, people talk about them.  They might be made fun of or called gay just for having a close friendship and caring for another man.  Women do that all the time - it's expected.  But the only real relationship in which it is okay for a man to be vulnerable is with a woman.  That's all fine and good, but it sounds awfully lonely.  


About sports, and war.  I've heard that they both give you a great high, something some people crave.  But the most important thing about these two, and it's not just my own musings here, is that they provide brotherhood.  This is one other situation in which it is okay for a man to depend on another man.  To love another man and have a close connection to him without being seen as acting outside of his role.  (Because somehow we've gotten so homophobic that a man can't show his feelings or admiration of other guys outside of certain restrictive boundaries.)  No wonder guys crave these things.  Everyone wants to feel wanted, to have close relationships with others.  Sure, the whole brotherhood thing isn't the only reason men participate in war or sports.  Maybe not even the main reason.  I don't know.  But I do think it is a reason.  Men are stifled and weighed down in this culture.  They are constantly being told they aren't good enough.  Not good enough at their jobs, not good enough in bed, not good enough at being fathers.  


And while we're talking about fathers, let me just touch on the epidemic of crappy fathers.  I hear about them left and right.  Men leaving their kids, cheating on their wives, abusing their families, just plain not caring.  Maybe this is because men don't have very good role models of what a good father looks like.  We need a movement toward more caring and loving fathers.  And part of that process, which has already started, is that women need to let men take care of their children.  We have a tendency to want things done a certain way and when the man doesn't do it perfectly, we just do it ourselves.  Not only does this put more pressure on ourselves, but it leads to that apathetic quality seen in so many fathers today.  They can't care about something they aren't allowed to participate in.  And how much richer would their lives be if they could have more responsibility in the care of their children?  How much more time would women have with some of that burden off their shoulders - time enough to fulfill those big dreams she maybe didn't think she would ever achieve.  Maybe if we had more equitable roles, people would be more tolerant of those who choose alternative lifestyles to the traditional.  


We all need to learn to be more tolerant of others.  If you believe in god, good for you.  Don't shove it down other people's throats.  If you think being gay is wrong, fine.  But don't hurt another person or discriminate against them because of it.  Keep it to yourself.  Respect others.  Understand them and the fact that they did not up and choose a lifestyle they somehow "knew" was "wrong," but they are simply being who they are.  And they deserve that right.  Thousands of young LGBT kids contemplate suicide, lots of them do kill themselves - all because we can't be more accepting of them.  We are all human.  We all get afraid, we all care what others think, we all need encouragement and support.  If your intolerance is leading to loss of life, maybe you should rethink what you believe, or at least how you deal with others who you deem 'in the wrong.'  All the stupid jokes you made as a kid, every time you say 'that's gay' or call someone a name, just think about how different things would be if their struggles were your own.  


I wish I could solve all the world's problems.  I want to be active, but this is a time of inactivity.  I know I just need to have the courage to start what needs to be started:  a new way of thinking about the world and the people around us.  Tolerance.  Love.  Acceptance.  Respect.  I hope when I leave this world, I'll have left it just a little bit better than when I arrived.  And I really mean that.

A Civilized Discussion

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I've been thinking lately about how a lot of liberal people accuse religious people of being narrow minded and just following along with what they're told.  Although this can sometimes be the case, I think it's important for everyone, regardless of our political or religious leanings, to check ourselves and make sure we aren't just following along.


Liberal ideas about gay marriage and abortion are popular right now, especially with young people.  And I really believe that's great - people should always be fighting for human rights and social equality.  The problem is, that sometimes we can get caught up in popular opinion without thinking through our positions carefully first.


My example here is my position on abortion.  I guess I got the impression that most liberal people thought all abortion was okay.  Now, I don't know if that's really the case, but I kind of just went along with it for a while.  But when I stopped and thought about it really deeply, I realized it wasn't quite as cut and dry as I had been thinking.


I am a strong believer in women's rights.  It is a passion of mine.  I think women should have the right to decide when and if they get pregnant and have a child.  I also believe in more comprehensive sex education, advances in birth control, adoption, and just not being a promiscuous person.  But what if a woman is raped?  What if her life is threatened by the baby?  What if another problem like these arises and she just needs other options?  She should have the right to decide when or if she will have a child and the right not to be forced into the role of mother by society.


On the other hand, we are responsible for protecting the lives of all human beings.  Where is the line here?  No one knows, and we should all keep that in mind.  There really isn't an answer.  I'm tired of people saying they have all the answers because it shuts down communication, healthy debate, and the quest for real answers to this problem.


The current cut off for abortions at 22 weeks - which is the age at which a fetus could survive outside of the womb on its own - seems like a reasonable solution.  But lets not let party lines or pre-set moral guidelines determine the answers to these questions.  Let's think for ourselves and not be afraid to think outside of the boxes we put ourselves in.  Christians, dare to consider abortion as a valid solution.  Liberals, dare to mull over the implications of abortion on the human right to life.


If I could say one thing tonight, it would be to think for yourself.  Let go of all the things that tie you to a certain way of thinking or a certain belief system.  And just listen to your own voice.  Listen to what it's saying.  Not a god or a politician, an old book or a liberal talk show host (or for that matter, a conservative one).  Just think for yourself.  Consider all sides of the issue.  Consider our right to life, our right to choose, our right to love freely, our responsibility for those who cannot care for themselves.  And lets start a real dialogue.  Not one marred by dogma or prejudice or hatred or close-mindedness.  But an honest discussion of what we can do as humans together to solve this common problem.  Because it is a common problem.  And we all need to be present in this discussion in order to come to a real solution that works for everyone.  Let the discussion begin!